I feel a little awkward blogging about this because it's something that I want to keep quiet but profess at the same time. I guess, I just won't use names. I would be embarrassed if she read this post. And she may be embarrassed and hurt as well. That is something that I don't want to do. So I won't use any identifiable descriptions of her. (That's kind of my disclaimer in the event that she does read this. Sorry, girly.)
anyways. yeah, this woman I have a girl crush on- maybe more or less serious, just walked out of the shower naked in front of me today. She toweled off and put on lotion, then asked me to zip her dress. i tried not to be shocked or stare, which I am sure she picked on. she's pretty in tuned like that. I am not comfortable speaking about this because 1. i feel i am doing something wrong- not because it's a girl but because i feel i am crossing some boundary. she is my friend, i know her boyfriend, i know her family- intimately. so, i am being a bit disrespectful- you know? 2. setting myself up for hurt if i allow myself to entertain these feelings. you know? so, i just should stop. but sometimes our conversations are such that i can't help but feel a crush. and just for a moment entertain a what if? what if she were to feel the same way? what if she were to act on it? what if we were to act on it?
we've been spending too much time together, speaking too intimately, connecting too much. dammit bjork, it's all her fault. she allows you to be free- express freely, love unrestrained. she awakens that desire becuase she seems to love so freely.
I am afraid I will become obsessed or a stalker. but the fear goes away because i know i have too much sense. I am too freaking rational and not easily lead by emotion. For better or for worse.
I have to leave it there because I am not ready to talk about it. Not ready to really entertain it at its depths. not break it down...
anyways. yeah, this woman I have a girl crush on- maybe more or less serious, just walked out of the shower naked in front of me today. She toweled off and put on lotion, then asked me to zip her dress. i tried not to be shocked or stare, which I am sure she picked on. she's pretty in tuned like that. I am not comfortable speaking about this because 1. i feel i am doing something wrong- not because it's a girl but because i feel i am crossing some boundary. she is my friend, i know her boyfriend, i know her family- intimately. so, i am being a bit disrespectful- you know? 2. setting myself up for hurt if i allow myself to entertain these feelings. you know? so, i just should stop. but sometimes our conversations are such that i can't help but feel a crush. and just for a moment entertain a what if? what if she were to feel the same way? what if she were to act on it? what if we were to act on it?
we've been spending too much time together, speaking too intimately, connecting too much. dammit bjork, it's all her fault. she allows you to be free- express freely, love unrestrained. she awakens that desire becuase she seems to love so freely.
I am afraid I will become obsessed or a stalker. but the fear goes away because i know i have too much sense. I am too freaking rational and not easily lead by emotion. For better or for worse.
I have to leave it there because I am not ready to talk about it. Not ready to really entertain it at its depths. not break it down...
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