Hello. I am not so freaked and frustrated today. I have a game plan. I just have to be a hermit. I am some one struggling with an addiction. An addiction to food. Just like an alcoholic, until I become stronger, I need to avoid social gatherings that tempt my food addication until I am strong enough to not crave or cave. So, no going out to bars, dinners limited. And it's crucial to be a recluse in those beginning days/weeks. I am suppose to meet friends for dinner, and I just don't want to. Not up to it. So, I will cancel. I am not happy at this size. I am about 180. I don't even know exactly because I refuse to step on a scale. Well not refuse but avoid stepping on a scale. I need to get the facts and move from there.
I signed up for swimming lessons that start next Saturday. So sky diving is out. I have to come up with something to not go. That would have been fun but it means missing my first swim lesson- which is not acceptable. I wonder if I will be there with a bunch of kids I don't know. Anyways. The pool opened as well. So I can swim at 630am in the morning. In order to wake up that early in the morning- must leave here around 6, 545 with clothes to wear for that day, I must go to bed at a decent time. You know?
I have so many clothes in my closet that I am about 10 lbs overweight to wear. Or 1 maybe 2 dress sizes too heavy to wear. And they are cute clothes. I want to where them. So, it will be October Monday. My period comes tomorrow or this weekend- so, let's start now. Commit to losing 5 lbs AT LEAST during the month of October. Go to the gym for a weigh in on Monday maybe Saturday on the way back from Tsambeka. And track it from there. Lose 2 lbs or so a week. Commit. That's what we are talking about here. Making a commitment. So, less socializing and see where that gets us. We have SOOOOO many cute clothes 1 size too small.
I go to Boston tomorrow for recruiting. Kinda wishing I didn't accept... uggghhhh
Besos.
I did entertain the idea of starving myself.
I signed up for swimming lessons that start next Saturday. So sky diving is out. I have to come up with something to not go. That would have been fun but it means missing my first swim lesson- which is not acceptable. I wonder if I will be there with a bunch of kids I don't know. Anyways. The pool opened as well. So I can swim at 630am in the morning. In order to wake up that early in the morning- must leave here around 6, 545 with clothes to wear for that day, I must go to bed at a decent time. You know?
I have so many clothes in my closet that I am about 10 lbs overweight to wear. Or 1 maybe 2 dress sizes too heavy to wear. And they are cute clothes. I want to where them. So, it will be October Monday. My period comes tomorrow or this weekend- so, let's start now. Commit to losing 5 lbs AT LEAST during the month of October. Go to the gym for a weigh in on Monday maybe Saturday on the way back from Tsambeka. And track it from there. Lose 2 lbs or so a week. Commit. That's what we are talking about here. Making a commitment. So, less socializing and see where that gets us. We have SOOOOO many cute clothes 1 size too small.
I go to Boston tomorrow for recruiting. Kinda wishing I didn't accept... uggghhhh
Besos.
I did entertain the idea of starving myself.
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