Hey kids. That's right. Today is my Thursday. It is actually Tuesday, but I am not going to work on Thursday or Friday. Thursday is my birthday. So, of course, no work on that day. Friday- well, why would I go to work on Friday after taking off Thursday. What do I plan to do? Go to my Pilates, then a spa, then kick it. Do nothing and worry about nothing! I might just stay buzzed, but I don't really enjoy the hangovers or the alcohol infused burps. So, I will need to find some other buzz to take me out of my reality. Don't get me wrong, I don't feel any kind of way about turning 29, I just want to zone out. I've been wanting to zone out for a while now but haven't had the opportunity because I either have early morning or after work commitments. But these 2 days are mine.
I went to Pilates today. Loved it. I don't really look forward to it before hand because I know it's going to kick my ass. But I certainly enjoy it while I am there. I don't think about anything just trying to make my body do what the instructors do with ease. I stuck to my eating plan. Second day in a row I haven't gone to the canteen during some time at lunch. Let's see how long I can boycott and how much money I save. That caf is soooo expensive. Anyways. I didn't stick to my plan of NOT visiting the gossip sights. I did go onto Perez and DListed. I was just bored. Next time, I should just get up and walk outside. Yeah, the days are beautiful now, so I should just get up, walk around outside, return to my desk refreshed.
I have to remember that these things take time. Losing weight takes time, changing habits take time, growing nails takes time. In this instant gratification society, we aren't used to things taking time. We notice when things take one second longer to process. One second. So, I am easily frustrated when I work out and the next day my clothes fit the same. I had to remind myself today, that I have been seriously working out and eating healthily for TWO days- since MONDAY. I chuckled because you would have sworn I have worked out for at least one week. We need to slow down. I mean, I love the technology developments that have happened over the last 10 years. It's nutz- it seemed to take us soooo long to get from the ENIAC (a computer that took up a room) to the personal desk top computer. I remember when laptops were the size of a carry on luggage- we had one. I remember when monitors were bulky and your only font color choice was green. Or maybe black if you changed the screen to green. I remember. Now, a computer 3 months old is outdated. It's crazy how quickly this society is progressing, but we must be careful. We must remember that not everything can come to us instantly. Real change takes time. That sounds so cliche right now, and my vocab isn't operating at full capacity, but it is very true. Real change takes time. I have to remember this. I could crash diet, starve myself, get liposuction but how long will that last and how much damage will I do to my body. Starving and plastic surgery only address the superficial issue. I want to change my eating and health habit fundamentally. In order to do that, I must be conscious in the effort, aware of my emotional reaction towards food, think about the driving force behind me wanting to eat food outside of my home. Really think about it. Because me eating out, me eating unconsciously is the visible outcome or product or representation of what's really going on inside. Or my lack of foundation, whatever. My vocab handicaps me in this moment. I can't find the words to describe this. But I know what it is. And I know that it will take time. I must take it one day at a time. And some time in November, I will remember the state of mind I am in now and be astonished at how far I have come and why I was ever hear in the first place.
Wow. That was a lot. It's funny. Each night I sit here and type. But I didn't start out wanting to type. I thought about writing this blog and all of the sudden I got busy. There were a million chores I had to do before blogging. Hoping that by the time they are complete, I would be too exhausted to really write and express my feelings.
I like blogging. I am glad that I got the idea from my higher self, as my spiritual advisor would say, to act on it.
Okay. Think that's it. And it's funny, I never really blog about what I thought I wanted to blog about. What is it I wanted to blog about today? I can't remember. Oh yeah, I want to start taking acting lessons soon. Not to become an actress but to help with expression and maybe meet some people
Besos.
Me.
xo
I went to Pilates today. Loved it. I don't really look forward to it before hand because I know it's going to kick my ass. But I certainly enjoy it while I am there. I don't think about anything just trying to make my body do what the instructors do with ease. I stuck to my eating plan. Second day in a row I haven't gone to the canteen during some time at lunch. Let's see how long I can boycott and how much money I save. That caf is soooo expensive. Anyways. I didn't stick to my plan of NOT visiting the gossip sights. I did go onto Perez and DListed. I was just bored. Next time, I should just get up and walk outside. Yeah, the days are beautiful now, so I should just get up, walk around outside, return to my desk refreshed.
I have to remember that these things take time. Losing weight takes time, changing habits take time, growing nails takes time. In this instant gratification society, we aren't used to things taking time. We notice when things take one second longer to process. One second. So, I am easily frustrated when I work out and the next day my clothes fit the same. I had to remind myself today, that I have been seriously working out and eating healthily for TWO days- since MONDAY. I chuckled because you would have sworn I have worked out for at least one week. We need to slow down. I mean, I love the technology developments that have happened over the last 10 years. It's nutz- it seemed to take us soooo long to get from the ENIAC (a computer that took up a room) to the personal desk top computer. I remember when laptops were the size of a carry on luggage- we had one. I remember when monitors were bulky and your only font color choice was green. Or maybe black if you changed the screen to green. I remember. Now, a computer 3 months old is outdated. It's crazy how quickly this society is progressing, but we must be careful. We must remember that not everything can come to us instantly. Real change takes time. That sounds so cliche right now, and my vocab isn't operating at full capacity, but it is very true. Real change takes time. I have to remember this. I could crash diet, starve myself, get liposuction but how long will that last and how much damage will I do to my body. Starving and plastic surgery only address the superficial issue. I want to change my eating and health habit fundamentally. In order to do that, I must be conscious in the effort, aware of my emotional reaction towards food, think about the driving force behind me wanting to eat food outside of my home. Really think about it. Because me eating out, me eating unconsciously is the visible outcome or product or representation of what's really going on inside. Or my lack of foundation, whatever. My vocab handicaps me in this moment. I can't find the words to describe this. But I know what it is. And I know that it will take time. I must take it one day at a time. And some time in November, I will remember the state of mind I am in now and be astonished at how far I have come and why I was ever hear in the first place.
Wow. That was a lot. It's funny. Each night I sit here and type. But I didn't start out wanting to type. I thought about writing this blog and all of the sudden I got busy. There were a million chores I had to do before blogging. Hoping that by the time they are complete, I would be too exhausted to really write and express my feelings.
I like blogging. I am glad that I got the idea from my higher self, as my spiritual advisor would say, to act on it.
Okay. Think that's it. And it's funny, I never really blog about what I thought I wanted to blog about. What is it I wanted to blog about today? I can't remember. Oh yeah, I want to start taking acting lessons soon. Not to become an actress but to help with expression and maybe meet some people
Besos.
Me.
xo
No comments:
Post a Comment